Decisions, Decisions, Decisions ...

As you may be able to tell from my title, this entry is based on decisions...
You may ask - "what kind of topic is that" but it has some relevance.

In this world, I have been told repeatedly, that you have to be able to stand up for yourself and fight for what you want - make your own decisions.

I have also been told that I'm not a very decisive person. Let me add that my 'decisiveness' or should I say 'indecisiveness' is based on whether I feel like having ice cream or not, or what topping to have on my pizza. Yes, that is how my decisiveness is measured. As you can imagine it's really annoying.

Now, when I actually make a decision and I want something. I say it. It makes me feel awkward because I hate asking for things, but I do it because I'm bringing up something that I want. But does that make a difference?? ABSOLUTELY NOT. My dad says that I should make decisions, go for what I want, but as soon as I do, it's a "nope, you can't do that because I want you to do this".

It makes my blood boil because how the frick am I supposed to learn to make decisions for myself when my dad insists of taking control of EVERY FREAKING THING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!

I hate it.

Moral of the story. They may be your parents but they can only take you under their wing for so long. `Over time you need to be able to go on your own. live your life the way you want it. I wish that my parents could see it from this point of view but I don't have that luxury. If you do, then savour it because while you may be wasting away your freedom, some people are dying to be released ...

Anyways ... that may be a down post, but I needed to get it off my chest.

Bye ... :|

An Update

So  just wanted to check in,,,
Currently revising for my chemistry exam.
Is it weird that I actually enjoy doing chemistry exams??? I mean i feel all science-y, It's awesome :O
I actually don't have anything to worry about... The first exam was better than I expected it to be. That's me alright, 'make a mountain out of a molehill'

Anyways, gotta go finish my last minute revision

Bye
:D

So I'm Kinda Freaking Out.... Exam time!!!!!!

I'm here, currently revising for something everyone is calling the largest exams in my life... Yes, grade 12 exams. Funnily enough, they said that about last year as well. :P Maybe they just can't make up their minds XD

Anyways, I am one of those students, who everyone knows will get good marks, but really, it's not as easy as it seems. I may sound like one of the bragging nerds who make fun of everyone else, but don't let my words fool you. Believe it or not, some of us do actually need to work hard on getting those high grades.

It's so annoying nowadays, where school isn't about learning, instead it's about getting 'good grades', pleasing the parents. At first I used to work hard because my parents were hella strict, like I thought they would literally disown me if I didn't get a good mark on this or that test. Overtime I learnt that they were just trying to help me out, reach my full potential. So if some of you in this time are feeling pressured by whoever, it just means that they're trying to show YOU that you can actually do better, that you have the capabilities to do great work. So take their vote of confidence.
Believe me, I know it's hard when you are feeling stressed and pressured, I used to go to bed in tears because of all the stress. I hated every single moment of it. But now, I've learnt to not do it for them. Now I get good grades because I want to, because I know I can. That should be everyones main goal during this time.

There's this guy in my class, who doesn't give a damn about studying. He is literally going to parties, staying up late talking to girls and just chilling.. I envy him sooooo much. I kinda wish that I could be like him - to relax a little during the stressful time. But at the same time I don't want to be like him, because when the time comes to test yourself you'll be underprepared. I want MY best to show nothing less, nothing more.

One thing that is aggravating is when my friends say that I'll be just fine and that I have nothing to worry about... Yes, I did just say that...
But it's in the context of when I talk about an exam. I'll say that I found it hard and then they'll be like "You'll get like 90%". I understand that they have faith in my abilities (more so than me apparently xD) but am I not entitled to an opinion? It feels as i I'm not allowed to speak when it comes to these sort of things because 'everything just comes naturally'. Like hell no! I have to work my butt off to get where I am. So i think I deserve an opinion when it comes to how I felt something.

Moving on...

To everyone who is in the same potion as me and taking tests whether they are A- Levels, SATs, some grade 11 tests (that I can't name, because I don't really know the name..), GOOD LUCK!!!!
I hope you achieve the grade you want!!!!

GOOD LUCK

Bye :D